Ok, so you’ve decided to purchase your first sex toy as a couple. Awesome, welcome to a whole world of fun! Now, where do you begin in making your purchase?

Before you start browsing there are a few little hints and tips you need for making an informed decision.

Choosing Your First Sex Toy, A Couples Guide

What Type of Sex Toy?

Whilst choosing a sex toy might sound super sexy there is a dazzling array of choice involved. To make this process easier its best to decide what kind of toy you’d like first. Are you looking for a toy to use during sex or one to use in foreplay? Will your toy be used for internal stimulation or external? Will it buzz or not? These are just a few of the questions to start with. Will your first toy be a vibrator, a dildo, a butt plug or stroker?

As a couple you may be looking for a toy to use on each other, for example a wand vibrator. This is an excellent choice for couples as it’s so universal. It can be used by anyone, on anyone. Wands are great for clitoral, penile or perineum stimulation. They feel amazing pressed against any area with plenty of nerve endings. Held against the frenulum a wand can produce amazing results and they offer enough power scale to please everyone. Doxy are a very reliable wand brand if you’re looking for power and reliability in terms of orgasm.

Vibrators come in so many distinctive styles now but a popular choice for couples is the bullet vibe. This can be used during sex with minimal intrusion and is just as universal as the wand, just more budget friendly. Some bullets pack a real punch so don’t think small doesn’t equal mighty. Check out the Nu Sensuelle Remote Control Wireless Bullet for a rumbly little option.

Pleasure for you Both

Another vibrator option is one worn between a couple during PiV sex. These are a relatively new concept and aim to stimulate both parties during intercourse. My experience of these has been hit and miss as it’s rare both parties are getting the same level of sensation. We-Vibe are well known for its couple’s vibes including the We-Vibe 4 Plus which works with the We-Connect app.

A dildo is another popular choice for couples. Despite the popular misconception that a dildo is favoured as a solo toy. Modern dildos offer lots of scope for playing together. Many dildos are harness compatible these days meaning they can be used for pegging and strap on fun. G and P Spot dildos allow precision internal stimulation for everyone. The shape is often the same for both.

Suction cup dildos can be ridden to put on a show for your partner or used to fulfil DP fantasies. The Fun Factory Amor Silicone G and P Spot Dildo is a smart choice for some dildo fun, or if you’re looking for something more playful how about a Split Peaches Unicorn Horn?

Butt Plugs or Strokers?

Butt plugs come in a wide range of styles from jewellery types to ones with tails attached. Myriad colours and sizes allow you experiment with looks and sensation. Would you like your butt plug to vibrate? Would you enjoy pressure on your P Spot during sex? If you’re curious about anal sex and have yet to try it, a plug is fantastic for preparing yourself for this. The Blush Naughty Candy Hearts silicone butt plugs make a user-friendly way to kick off plug play. Plus, they’re super cute!

Strokers are a terrific way to enjoy masturbation with your partner. They take the guess work out of a hand job. There are many different pressures and patterns on the market to please even the fussiest penis. Many people find it very erotic to watch their partner lay back whilst they stroke them to orgasm. For added spice try this with your partner restrained! The Power Power Penis Sleeve set offers lots of choice for experimenting with different sensations.

Material Matters!

This doesn’t sound like a particularly sexy consideration, but it is an important one. Sex toys can be made of diverse types of materials, but they fall into two main categories. Porous and Non-Porous. The importance of body safe materials in sex toys shouldn’t be under estimated. For example, a porous toy absorbs bacteria and body fluids into its surface. This is impossible to remove completely, even with anti-bacterial toy cleaner.

You wouldn’t use a toy again without washing it in between uses, and yet with a porous toy that is basically what you’re doing. This is added ick if you’re sharing that toy with your partner or for both anal and vaginal use. Materials to avoid include jelly, rubber, PVC and Cyberskin.

Phthalate Problems

You also need to keep a look out for phthalates in your sex toys. These are added to plastics to increase their flexibility and durability amongst other things. These are found in porous toys and are another reason why they should be avoided.

Phthalate molecules are not chemically bound to the plastics they’re softening. They can break free and this causes the products they’re in to deteriorate and break down over time. This is never good when it’s an internal toy. It also means your body is exposed to phthalate molecules when you use the toy over time. Studies have suggested long-term exposure to phthalates is linked to cancer, Type 2 Diabetes and can harm reproductive systems.

Toys made from TPE, TPR are non- toxic but still porous so should be avoided for internal use. They can break down with time and use and will need to be inspected thoroughly before use.

So what materials make a good sex toy? Body-safe sex toy materials include silicone, stainless steel, aluminium, borosilicate or soda lime glass, glazed ceramic, ABS plastic.

Any of the above can be safely used internally with no fear of chemicals and are easily cleaned. Silicone can even be boiled to sterilise it!

Pro-Tips and Hints

So, we know which kind of toy we want, and we know which material to avoid. Is there anything else we should know? There are a few little safety tips when using sex toys for the first time. Firstly, anal toys should always have a flared base on them. This applies to anal dildos, vibrators and plugs. If you’re using a toy anally without a flared base there is nothing to stop that toy travelling inside your body. Nothing will kill sexy time faster than a trip to A&E for a toy extraction.

When purchasing anal toys be aware that toys feel much larger in the butt than they do the hand or even vagina. Start small and work your way up. Ensure you have a good lube when using the toy (thicker anal specific lube is available) and insert it slowly and gently. When purchasing a butt plug make sure the base is the widest part of the toy. My personal rule of thumb is I won’t wear a plug with a base less than 1.5 inches across. It’s important to my enjoyment of the plug that I feel confident in it’s ability to stay put!

When using any form of internal toy lube is a must. It improves the experience and is even beneficial when using clitoral stimulators as it forms a cushion for the sensation. If you’re using silicone toys you will need water-based lube, anything else can damage the surface of your toys. Try to look for a lube with minimal chemicals in the ingredients, parabens and sugars are particular ones to avoid. Although anal numbing lubes look like a great idea they can mask potential problems.

Have Fun!

Choosing a sex toy is part of the adventure of using it. Make sure you’re selecting together, enjoy the increased intimacy that exploring sex toys brings. There’s no right or wrong choice, you know your relationship dynamic best and which toy would best suit your needs. Now you’re armed with all the relevant information to make the right choice for you.